The Small Dog Plays Mother…

I’m a creature of habit, I have my routine,

I know where she’s going, I know where she’s been,

I don’t like her going out late, or at all,

I’d rather she stayed home with me to play ball.


This morning she did things before she went out

With stuff in the bathroom, that left me in doubt

As to whether she thought I’d be easy to fool…

But sometimes a break in routine can be cool.


She brought home my boy, ‘cause his bathroom is broke

And for two-legses having no bathroom’s no joke.

So, he came to use hers (I will not call it mine)

And to have him around for a while was just fine.

I let him play ball for a bit and share treats

(While she tried to con me… tried trimming my feets!)

I de-stuffed my pillow (that’s two that I’ve killed)

While he went and soaked in the bath she had filled.


But when he came out, he just smelled like a flower,

I thought I should exercise real doggy power,

So cuddled up close, did the whole ‘puppy eyes’,

Then, as he’s my pup, took him right by surprise…

No two-legs of mine needs to smell like a rose,

(And especially not when he’s under my nose)

So I washed him again and I got him real good

Till he smelled, to my taste, how my two-legses should.


I had just washed his face and I’d groomed him real well,

The ungrateful two-legs just said, “Mum, I smell,

‘Cause the Small Dog has licked me,” and I saw him glower,

“I think I should probably get in the shower.”

Published by Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email:

35 thoughts on “The Small Dog Plays Mother…

  1. See what you started, Sue! First she got you, now your son. Next time, put a Halloween mask on him and see what Ani does. Might help her kick the face-licking habit once and for all (and never speak to either of you again)!


  2. Ungrateful Mut , Ani you did your best for him and he moaned! ….. That’s two legs for you just plain odd! Got to love them though 💜💜💜 love Ruby 💜💜💜


  3. Oh Ani! Your instincts are good, but there is a clash of cultures going on when it comes to smells. I wonder if you and She could compromise and use soap that smells of…hmm…something edible instead? Not meat or bones though…


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