I looked the small dog in the eye
And she looked back at me…
A more determined look, I think,
You would go far to see.
I’d only mentioned it was hot
And that she must concur
That summer is no time for dogs
To wear their winter fur.
“A bath would be a good idea.”
I spoke to empty air…
She was long gone and disappeared
To hide behind my chair.
I wheedled, pleaded and cajoled,
But would she come out? No.
She knew from past experience
That in the bath she’d go.
I tried to reason with her
Then gave in and tried a bribe…
She sat in silence, wary
And ignored the diatribe.
My blandishments fell on deaf ears,
She wouldn’t move at all…
Until my back was turned
And she went off to find her ball.
I found her brush, it’s almost new,
I’d bought it years ago
But she will never let me close
To where her feathers grow.
I cannot brush the dog at all,
In spite of arrant need,
Not even when I cheat a bit
And put her on the lead.
But this time, somehow something changed
She stood as still as death,
And while I brushed, she snuck in close
Till I could feel her breath.
She’s not a ‘licky’ dog at all
So took me by surprise…
The tongue came out with purpose,
Caught me right between the eyes.
She got her own back as I brushed;
Her weapon grew more bold…
Revenge tastes sweet, or so they say,
Though I’m more hot than cold.
And so the dog is fully groomed,
But I’ve been laundered too,
All unconsenting, I’ve been washed
With horrid, doggy goo.
The victory must go to her,
We know who has the power…
While she escapes the dreaded bath,
I’m heading for the shower.