Beauty and the Beast: Grooming the Small Dog

I looked the small dog in the eye
And she looked back at me…
A more determined look, I think,
You would go far to see.

I’d only mentioned it was hot
And that she must concur
That summer is no time for dogs
To wear their winter fur.

“A bath would be a good idea.”
I spoke to empty air…
She was long gone and disappeared
To hide behind my chair.

I wheedled, pleaded and cajoled,
But would she come out? No.
She knew from past experience
That in the bath she’d go.

I tried to reason with her
Then gave in and tried a bribe…
She sat in silence, wary
And ignored the diatribe.

My blandishments fell on deaf ears,
She wouldn’t move at all…
Until my back was turned
And she went off to find her ball.

I found her brush, it’s almost new,
I’d bought it years ago
But she will never let me close
To where her feathers grow.

I cannot brush the dog at all,
In spite of arrant need,
Not even when I cheat a bit
And put her on the lead.

But this time, somehow something changed
She stood as still as death,
And while I brushed, she snuck in close
Till I could feel her breath.

She’s not a ‘licky’ dog at all
So took me by surprise…
The tongue came out with purpose,
Caught me right between the eyes.

She got her own back as I brushed;
Her weapon grew more bold…
Revenge tastes sweet, or so they say,
Though I’m more hot than cold.

And so the dog is fully groomed,
But I’ve been laundered too,
All unconsenting, I’ve been washed
With horrid, doggy goo.

The victory must go to her,
We know who has the power…
While she escapes the dreaded bath,
I’m heading for the shower.

Published by Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email:

65 thoughts on “Beauty and the Beast: Grooming the Small Dog

  1. I was once told to place our dog on the worktop to groom her – they would be off their safe area; the floor – the dog groomer said. After much scrabbling, and her trying to climb around my neck we both ended up on the floor. The trouble was, after that, she would stand by the worktop, waiting for me to pick her up to ‘play’ again. Love reading about Ani, Sue.


  2. Ah, Ani. She is the wizard of passive-aggressive. I am lucky because Garfield LOVES to be brushed- which I have to do every day because he sheds the equivalent on another cat each week. The big problem is getting him to hold still long enough so I can remove the mats, usually with a pair of scissors!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hee hee! We like to think that we’re the ones in charge, but how often it seems like we play by their rules.


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