The Small Dog’s Downfall

She said I was scruffy and needed a bath,

I said she’d be lucky, was having a laugh,

‘Cause my two-legs alone cannot lift me and hold me

The best she can do is manhandle and scold me

While she ends up dripping and I end up running…

My two-legs shampoo me alone? She was funning.

*

“Oh no, little Small Dog, we’ll try something new here…

Just come to me, girlie, I’ve got dry shampoo here.”

What, dry stuff, not wet stuff? Perhaps we could try it,

She’d not con me into the bath, ’cause I’d spy it,

I could do a runner, if she turned out sneaky..,

But ‘dry shampoo’ somehow did sound a bit freaky…

*

She sat on the sofa, “Stay still, little squirmer!”

She got a good grip, when I moved, she held firmer,

Then aimed something at me that’s all wet and squirty…

To call that stuff ‘dry’ is just playing real dirty!

She made me all frothy, put foam on my belly…

“Just go with it, girlie, you soon won’t be smelly.”

*

She brushes and combs while I’m squirming and whining,

“Don’t worry, my girlie, your coat is all shining.”

“Don’t worry? You do realise it’s confusing

To tell me a wet shampoo’s dry. That’s amusing?”

My scent was a thing any dog could take pride in…

I smell like a lemon… I’ve gone into hiding.

*

Published by Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.

67 thoughts on “The Small Dog’s Downfall

  1. Oh! Ani, you have my sympathy! Good grief what is this obsession they have with fresh smelling homes and dogs. What’s wrong with a good wholesome dog scent. Love and empathy Ruby. πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

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      1. There is always room here , there loads of tennis balls and toys , happy to share and I have two beds so there’s room for you to sleep. Love Ruby πŸ˜€πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

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          1. She probably won’t be happy with me for telling you this, but on your next walk try rolling around in the grass a few times.

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  2. Oh, Ani! I’m so sorry, but that made me laugh so much. I know you don’t like lemon but /she/ does. So think of how many more cuddles you’ll get now! And at least you didn’t have to go in the tub. Huge hugs from me and Mogi, who also needs a bath. Thanks for reminding me…

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      1. It does! Maggie doesn’t like having a bath either but loves the hairdryer bit after. We’ve never thought about a dry shampoo, but she doesn’t like being puffed or sprayed with anything, so she can sympathise with Ani.

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  3. I’ve heard there are places you can go wash your dog where they make it fun. Not like a groomer, just kind of like a car wash but for dogs. Probably closed for the pandemic, though… 😦

    Either way, I wash my current dog just fine. He doesn’t seem to have a problem, but then again his breeder did a lot of work with his litter when they were little to make them ok with being touched and manipulated so they could be brushed, washed, and inspected. Seems to be baths and stuff are made easier if you can help them when they’re tiny.

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    1. I’d love to see Ani in a dog ‘car-wash’…though I probably wouldn’t see her for dust πŸ™‚
      She used to be fine with baths as a pup… but once she became a teenager, she decided against anything other than ponds πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s sneaky! Oh, I hope mine don’t get to hear about this wet dry shampoo stuff. One thing I really don’t like is shampoo… It makes me smell so not-dogish. Takes me ages to smell like a real dog again after they use shampoo on me. Ugh! Lots of licks, Lilie

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