My two-legs really worries me
When she starts with the cleaning,
She climbs on things that wobble
when she’s stretching out and leaning.
She scrubs and talks of ‘elbow-grease’
And squirts stuff that’s all squeezy
That makes things smell all flowery…
And makes a Small Dog sneezy!
The thing is, she has accidents
With everything she touches
(I hid my fav’rite ball away
To keep it from her clutches…).
I think maybe she’s lost the plot…
Or stepped outside her rhythm…
She took the curtains down to wash,
The curtain rail came with ‘em.
She trimmed the lawn to make it neat
And cut the long grass lower…
And said some words I should not hear
When she blew up the mower!
The wardrobe fell to pieces
When she went to sort her clothes out…
I hid under the table…
Thought I’d better keep my nose out!
She’s given up on cleaning,
And I’m glad… she had me worried!
We’ve gone back to a lifestyle
Much more peaceful and unhurried.
I didn’t even get a bath,
I’m clean enough to sate her,
Though maybe I’ll still worry
‘Cause she said, “I’ll catch you later…”