The Small Dog and the Housework

My two-legs really worries me
When she starts with the cleaning,
She climbs on things that wobble
when she’s stretching out and leaning.

She scrubs and talks of ‘elbow-grease’
And squirts stuff that’s all squeezy
That makes things smell all flowery…
And makes a Small Dog sneezy!

The thing is, she has accidents
With everything she touches
(I hid my fav’rite ball away
To keep it from her clutches…).

I think maybe she’s lost the plot…
Or stepped outside her rhythm…
She took the curtains down to wash,
The curtain rail came with ‘em.

She trimmed the lawn to make it neat
And cut the long grass lower…
And said some words I should not hear
When she blew up the mower!

The wardrobe fell to pieces
When she went to sort her clothes out…
I hid under the table…
Thought I’d better keep my nose out!

She’s given up on cleaning,
And I’m glad… she had me worried!
We’ve gone back to a lifestyle
Much more peaceful and unhurried.

I didn’t even get a bath,
I’m clean enough to sate her,
Though maybe I’ll still worry
‘Cause she said, “I’ll catch you later…”

Published by Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.

97 thoughts on “The Small Dog and the Housework

  1. I always knew housework was bad for you, so you keep your two legs busy playing ball and walking instead, Ani! It’s much better for her. 😉

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          1. I don’t blame her – terrible, badly behaved noisy things. They’re much better when they are hidden away and quiet! 🙂

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            1. Hmmm… perhaps it was to make sure it was dead. Let’s hope it’s not put back together and resurrected any time soon. 😉

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  2. Great one, Ani. I hope she doesn’t catch you for a bath, though. I’m sure you know lots of places to hide where she can’t reach you.
    And so glad she’s given up on cleaning. No wonder you’re worried.

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  3. Reading the headline i thought seeing you wearing a Victorian style housemaid costume, and helping Sue cleaning the house. 😉 Otherwise you’d wonderful observed the situation. Best wishes, Michael

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  4. Sue, I had such a laugh at the end with that last line and the photo which went so well together. These poems are fantastic.
    BTW I think cleaning is up there alongside exercise when it comes to be dangerous. I’ve been getting through lock down writing and reading. Last night, I started reading Julia Baird’s Phosphorescence: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52541673-phosphorescence
    Julia is well known here in Australia and I did Australian Women’s History with her many years ago and she grew up nearby. She is a writer’s writer with stunning imagery and a real intimate, personal feel. Of course, it helps me that I somewhat knew her.
    I have also been reading Henri-Frederic Amiel’s “Journal Intime”. Have you read him at all?
    Anyway, I’ve been very grateful for my many blogging friends during lockdown. Id been having quite a bloggin break while I was researching Australian soldiers serving in France during WWI.
    Hope you and yours are keeping safe and well.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

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      1. Amiel’s journal is available for free on Project Gutenberg Here: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/8545/8545-h/8545-h.htm
        I found the introduction very interesting as she talks about his lack of success during his life time and how his over-active intellect and perfectionism held him back. I’ve been interested in these theme and have particularly seen it played out in two movies about ballerinas: Red Shoes and Black Swan. Our daughter is working towards becoming a professional ballerina. At least, she was before lockdown but her classes are ongoing in our kitchen, which has made me much more conscious of just how much she’s putting in. Saturdays, the kitchen is out of bounds from 9.30am to about 2.00pm and I’m a night owl. That’s probably the thing I’ve struggled with most in lock down.

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          1. Exactly. The psychology of ballet is interesting and challenging. As a writer, we’re often on the look out for some way of entering someone else’s world and I’ve certainly been doing that as a dance parent. My grandmother was an international concert pianist and my mum was her pupil and that’s how she met my Dad. So, I’ve grown up amongst a lot of this type of thing and new a few of my grandmother’s pupils. The strange thing is that aside from my bloggin contacts, I have very little involvement in the realm of writers. I usually try to get to the Sydney Writers’ Festival but like so many things, it was also cancelled due to the coronavirus. Gee, that virus has a lot to answer for!

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            1. I don’t tend to do the authorial rounds apart from blogging. As I have a full time job as well as helping run the Silent Eye, there would be no time left for writing 😉

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            1. I know you really have to feel sorry for them. The thing to remember about them is, however much we care about them they are not sensible like us. That’s why we love them and look after them !💜💜💜

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  5. Mine worries me when she gets in a cleaning sort of mind. Of course, she’s like yours and tends to make as much mess as she cleans. Personally I think it usually looks better before she starts. Wouldn’t tell her so though, since she gives out less treats if she’s cross. Lots of licks, Lilie

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