My two-legs really worries me
When she starts with the cleaning,
She climbs on things that wobble
when she’s stretching out and leaning.
She scrubs and talks of ‘elbow-grease’
And squirts stuff that’s all squeezy
That makes things smell all flowery…
And makes a Small Dog sneezy!
The thing is, she has accidents
With everything she touches
(I hid my fav’rite ball away
To keep it from her clutches…).
I think maybe she’s lost the plot…
Or stepped outside her rhythm…
She took the curtains down to wash,
The curtain rail came with ‘em.
She trimmed the lawn to make it neat
And cut the long grass lower…
And said some words I should not hear
When she blew up the mower!
The wardrobe fell to pieces
When she went to sort her clothes out…
I hid under the table…
Thought I’d better keep my nose out!
She’s given up on cleaning,
And I’m glad… she had me worried!
We’ve gone back to a lifestyle
Much more peaceful and unhurried.
I didn’t even get a bath,
I’m clean enough to sate her,
Though maybe I’ll still worry
‘Cause she said, “I’ll catch you later…”
🙂 Watch out, Ani!
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I am! 😀
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‘…I’ll catch you later…’ … you’d think they’d be a bit more specific, wouldn’t you, so you could plan ahead. 🙂
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I can still run faster than her. But she is sneaky… 😉
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Sad to say, sneaky almost always beats fast.
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Then I am in trouble 😉
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😦
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I love these Sue!
They give me a good chuckle. 😊
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The dog keeps me smiling too 🙂
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Keep em commin! 😊
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No doubt ‘she’ will 😉
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😊👍💜
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Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
Wry observations from Ani 😂
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🙂
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I bet she’ll complain about aching soon enough… But stay alert Ani…
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She always aches…she says we are just getting old 😉
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Always the same excuse, isn’tit?!
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It’s a good one though 😉
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I am having a similar battle with overdue housework, not quite ready for most of it though…
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I can’t say I’ve ever been a fan of housework…though I like it when it is done. So I try to keep up. Sometimes failing abysmally 😉
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Same here, so many things I’d rather be doing!
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Oh yes…
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I always knew housework was bad for you, so you keep your two legs busy playing ball and walking instead, Ani! It’s much better for her. 😉
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It’s better for me too! I don’t like the hoover-monster at all… 😉
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Neither do I, Ani. I don’t even know how mine works – or that’s my excuse anyway! 😉
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I think hers works on sound. She keeps talking to it with bad words 😉
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I don’t blame her – terrible, badly behaved noisy things. They’re much better when they are hidden away and quiet! 🙂
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She’s taken the innards out of hers, so I reckon I’m safe for a bit 😉
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Sounds like a good move. Enjoy the peace! 😉
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I shall. But I’m still not sure why she felt she had to gut the thing and wash its innards 😉
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Hmmm… perhaps it was to make sure it was dead. Let’s hope it’s not put back together and resurrected any time soon. 😉
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I hope so 🙂
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🙂
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Great one, Ani. I hope she doesn’t catch you for a bath, though. I’m sure you know lots of places to hide where she can’t reach you.
And so glad she’s given up on cleaning. No wonder you’re worried.
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She’s doing things with screwdrivers now. I’m not sure that’s any safer 😉
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I adore Ani’s poetry! Oh, and commiserations on the cleaning. 🙂
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I sort of gave up and decided to fix the mower instead 😉
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lmao – bravo! That would have been my choice as well. Housework…pfftttt…
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Well, no one is coming and the dog doesn’t care 😉
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Exactly! Besides, the bits that matter get more of a clean now than they ever did pre-virus. Plus, no one ever died of dust bunnies. 😀
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🙂
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hahaha Great fun to read Ani! Sorry Sue.
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That dog… hrmph 😉
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this is great!
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Thanks, Di 🙂
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Reading the headline i thought seeing you wearing a Victorian style housemaid costume, and helping Sue cleaning the house. 😉 Otherwise you’d wonderful observed the situation. Best wishes, Michael
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Don’t give my two legs any ideas 😉
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Lol
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😀
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Watch out, Ani! I have friends who vacuum their dog!
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My two-legs used to to that to one of hers who seemed to like it ‘pparently;)
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You always manage to make my day, Ani! 🙂
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She makes mine every day, Bette ❤
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Omg Ani, you had me cracking up at ‘blew the lawn mower’. Hilarious as always! ❤ xx
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She did too! And it took everything else with it… the fish in the aquarium weren’t happy 😉 xx
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Great visuals, lol 🙂 xx
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😀 xx
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Ani knows which side her bread is buttered, Sue, and exactly when to stay out of the way.
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She hid today too… but then, I had some DIY to do 😉
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord Blog Magazine and commented:
I will leave you with another wonderful poem from Ani (aided and abetted by Sue Vincent) on the subject of housework… a dirty word in our household… entertaining as always.
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Thank you, Sally. It isn’t my favourite word either 😉
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Adorable!! If only they could talk. 🐾🐾🐾
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This one does… far too well 😉
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Yes that is true. 💕💕
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My Mum, Adele, had her head in the oven yesterday, Ani. Squirting stuff and yep; saying words my delicate ears shouldn’t hear. Much paw love, Dante Dawg. xxx
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I suppose it is their way of growling xxx
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I love this!! Well penned, Ani!
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Thank you, Liz 😀
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You’re welcome, Sue.
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Sue, I had such a laugh at the end with that last line and the photo which went so well together. These poems are fantastic.
BTW I think cleaning is up there alongside exercise when it comes to be dangerous. I’ve been getting through lock down writing and reading. Last night, I started reading Julia Baird’s Phosphorescence: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52541673-phosphorescence
Julia is well known here in Australia and I did Australian Women’s History with her many years ago and she grew up nearby. She is a writer’s writer with stunning imagery and a real intimate, personal feel. Of course, it helps me that I somewhat knew her.
I have also been reading Henri-Frederic Amiel’s “Journal Intime”. Have you read him at all?
Anyway, I’ve been very grateful for my many blogging friends during lockdown. Id been having quite a bloggin break while I was researching Australian soldiers serving in France during WWI.
Hope you and yours are keeping safe and well.
Best wishes,
Rowena
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Housework, exercise and DIY… all should be avoided 😉
No, I have not read either of those writers, though I have come acoss Amiel from time to time.
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Amiel’s journal is available for free on Project Gutenberg Here: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/8545/8545-h/8545-h.htm
I found the introduction very interesting as she talks about his lack of success during his life time and how his over-active intellect and perfectionism held him back. I’ve been interested in these theme and have particularly seen it played out in two movies about ballerinas: Red Shoes and Black Swan. Our daughter is working towards becoming a professional ballerina. At least, she was before lockdown but her classes are ongoing in our kitchen, which has made me much more conscious of just how much she’s putting in. Saturdays, the kitchen is out of bounds from 9.30am to about 2.00pm and I’m a night owl. That’s probably the thing I’ve struggled with most in lock down.
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I remember how well your daughter was doing. The perfectionism that held Amiel back, though, is a trait your daughter will need for ballet.
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Exactly. The psychology of ballet is interesting and challenging. As a writer, we’re often on the look out for some way of entering someone else’s world and I’ve certainly been doing that as a dance parent. My grandmother was an international concert pianist and my mum was her pupil and that’s how she met my Dad. So, I’ve grown up amongst a lot of this type of thing and new a few of my grandmother’s pupils. The strange thing is that aside from my bloggin contacts, I have very little involvement in the realm of writers. I usually try to get to the Sydney Writers’ Festival but like so many things, it was also cancelled due to the coronavirus. Gee, that virus has a lot to answer for!
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I don’t tend to do the authorial rounds apart from blogging. As I have a full time job as well as helping run the Silent Eye, there would be no time left for writing 😉
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Oh!Ani she sounds like my too legs a walking disaster!!! 💜
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Except mine is having problems walking at the moment too 😉
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Well let’s face it none of them are particularly good at walking are they💜
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They don’t have enough legs, you see 😉
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I know it’s amazing that they can stay upright so long….you have got to feel sorry for them 💜💜💜
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I do… deeply… there are so many things they aren’t very good at 😉 xx
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Yes they are not very good at smelling and they can’t catch a ball for toffee, do you like toffee💜
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I do…but she says it is bad for my teeth 😉
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Hummmm so does mine, it’s a conspiracy! 💜💜
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They must be eating all themselves 😉
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Definitely, all this “No not for you, it’s not good for you” lark is just a cunning ploy so they can have more! 💜
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Mine says it isn’t good for her teeth either these days 😉
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Well how funny mine says the same and won’t buy it????
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Mine won’t buy it either, ’cause she likes it too much Seems daft to me, but then… she’s a two-legs, after all 😉 xx
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I know you really have to feel sorry for them. The thing to remember about them is, however much we care about them they are not sensible like us. That’s why we love them and look after them !💜💜💜
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They certainly need a bit of looking after from sensible beings 😉 ❤
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They do indeed 💜😀
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🙂 ❤
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💜
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Mine worries me when she gets in a cleaning sort of mind. Of course, she’s like yours and tends to make as much mess as she cleans. Personally I think it usually looks better before she starts. Wouldn’t tell her so though, since she gives out less treats if she’s cross. Lots of licks, Lilie
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Mine tends to give up after a while… find a good, wet shake on newly washed walls seems to encourage her to sit down…
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Will have to bear that in mind. Lots of licks, Lilie
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